WeirdoW

Battling against your sense of self can be quite hectic. One minute you’re sure you know yourself to the very core and the next, the world tosses you a curveball that forces you to rethink how you do things and approach life as a whole. With each new step and or advancement, we typically find ourselves being tossed back to basics, having to learn from scratch a new side of life that others have been living for years. From stepping into career life and paying black tax, to creating a family of your own.

Gone are the days when people would just hand you money. Kinda seems like those were the times you’d find a thousand bob just chilling in the pocket as you did laundry. As you grow, you’re more likely to find some old receipt reminding you of bad financial decisions you made with your hard-earned money. Here’s a quote from a certain anime that just feels like the perfect summary of growing up. It went something like this. Being an adult is a sum of tiny disappointments through the years.

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Just think about it. With each new step forward, you usher in new responsibilities and give up (forever) most of the privilege you enjoyed in the concluded stage. While under 18, the world seems obligated (in most cases) to take care of and correct you when you do something wrong. But once you cross that bracket, the depth and impact of your decisions can turn your entire world upside down. The hands that held you and led you down the right path are no longer there. The light that helped you distinguish what’s best for you from what’s no longer shining and you’re left to grapple in the darkness of bad decisions that are apparently supposed to shape you.

The age between 20-30 seems to be a time of despair. The time between your support system letting you out of their safe space and into the world and you figuring out what you’re supposed to do with yourself in this vast and diverse world is probably the most confusing. One day it feels like you have it all figured out, and the next all you can do is wonder where all the confidence in your abilities ran off to. The worst/best discovery is the reality that nothing comes easy in life (for most people at least). It is the worst because the realization that everything now depends on your efforts, ability to think on your feet, and plenty of luck can be quite heavy.

This is also a good thing seeing as it helps you get a tiny grasp of the amount of blood sweat and tears those who came before you put in and acts as an indicator of how far out of your comfort zone you need to go to achieve your desired lifestyle. This is probably the period people really learn to appreciate their parents and all they go through to keep their families fed, entertained, happy, and loved. That tired loving smile your mom or dad used to give you at the end of the day hid a lot of pain, sadness, despair, feelings of inadequacy, and much more. The mid to late 20s will truly give you an idea of the weight they carried on their shoulders as they strove to keep you happy and healthy.

So what’s the point of all that I’m saying? I honestly have no idea. Just seems like childhood was the honeymoon period of our lives. Where you get teased and bombarded with dreams of grandeur and greatness without ever seeing or coming close to comprehending what goes on behind the scenes of achieving those dreams. While going back to the warm embrace of our younger days does hold a certain appeal, it would only delay the inevitable realization that this world is nowhere near the Disney version of reality.

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